Review: One Tree Hill....Sorry not an update

So my current roommates were watching One Tree Hill tonight. And I just couldn’t resist the urge to blog about it. I'll get a real update up here soon. 

One Tree Hill strikes me as your typical WB-turned-CW-or-whatever-combination-of-W’s-and-other-letters show. It includes a cast of roughly 10 characters, several teenagers (though you wouldn’t know it to look at them, all the actors must be about 25) and their parents. Most of them are named gender-neutral, preppy names like Spencer and Payton.

All the girls have matching eyebrows, and shiny hair cut in layers a few inches below their shoulders. Their makeup is kept to a nice palette of beiges with slightly red tones, much like the rest of the show. Their lips are a rosy color just light enough to not be considered red, topped with just enough gloss that the audience has no doubt that they keep their lips moisturized. Bear in mind, the episode I watched was from the first season, so the fashion was more than a little outdated. But seriously, Donkey from Shrek must’ve had a talk with these people, because one thing they all love is LAYERS. No outfit is complete without a turtleneck, topped with a long-sleeve tee, and then finally a jacket, but it better not have a hood. There is clearly an unwritten law in Tree Hill against hooded clothing. Each outfit is limited to approximately four colors: gray, khaki green, maroon, and beige. Also, since this was filmed around 2001, the girl’s shirts must end one inch above their waistband.

The lighting and set decorations are of course in keeping with the muted, neutral colors. The only glimpse of real color we see is in a photograph from a vacation, kept to remind a couple of when their marriage was happy.

The plot is essentially a glorified soap opera. Curly-Hair (placed there just in case anyone thought the casting staff was hair-ist) kissed Blonde-Hair-Boy in a vulnerable moment, (hereafter referred to as BHB) who happens to be dating her best friend. Meanwhile, BHB’s half-brother is dating BHB’s best friend, and she’s concerned that BHB will start dating Curly-Hair again. BHB’s father’s wife is leaving him, because he flirted with Sexy Beach House girl next door. Everyone’s parents are pressuring them to excel in sports, because they’re dreams were crushed as children. (I like to call this classic movie and TV plot “No Mom/Dad, this is your dream.”) Lies and secrets between mothers and fathers, brothers, sons and daughters are revealed. “No, that knee injury didn’t really ruin my sports career, Dad, but I couldn’t take the pressure, so now I’m doing the same thing to my kid.”

Meanwhile, the high school coach is retiring and wondering if he made enough of a difference in live. Half-Brother tries to convince him that high school sports are important.  The episode closes with a nice littler montage, showing the situation between Curly-Hair, BHB, and Best-Friend-Girl remaining unresolved, Blonde-Mom leaving BHB’s dad, BHB’s real mom coming back into town to date his uncle. Throughout the episode, emotional songs by artist like Mat Kearney play in the background. Just when we think it’s ended, BHB and Uncle are driving to pick up Brunette-Mom, and crash into BHB’s Dad. Uncle is okay, but BHB has to be removed from the car, (despite the fact that he clearly has neck/head injuries) rushed to the hospital and carried into the emergency room in his father’s arms, only to be whisked off to an operating room where the episode closes.

Needless to say, I realize why I’ve never gotten into any of these teen-drama shows.